SNUMO (SNAIL FUMO)

Ever feel like you have an unwanted presence? Do you need one?

You can fill the empty void in the corner of your room - perhaps under the bed - in the cupboard - directly behind you - with a creature beyond reasonable description. Her unfaltering gaze displeases the suburban comfort of a modern household, and therefore will take the place of any other undesirable supernatural occurrences in your humble abode. This includes disturbing local billionaires!

Practice prolonged eye contact and feel your mental stability be fortified with the knowledge that she can never share your secrets or special bug facts (she has forgotten them, you can tell her again). She enjoys long hugs and post midnight treats. It will not make her taller. Or more violent. I don't think it can get worse than it already is.

Never feel alone or unwatched again! It is always morally okay to harbor and share a meal with a Personal Snail Shaped Conduit of Nonsense!